check out a forward i recieved today.

FAMILY SAGA

WIFE:
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

WIFE:
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far

HUSBAND:
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

WIFE:
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but outside, laughing at you

AND THE SAGA CONTINUES...

Position of a Husband Is just like a Split AC
No matter however Loud he is in the Outdoor
He is designed to remain Silent indoor...

"Husband is one who is the head of the family,
but his wife is the neck, and whichever way she turns, he goes."

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one every day.

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are..
Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?
Husband: A lovely Push...!

NEVER MAKE A WOMAN ANGRY, so they said .. ;-)

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates and saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her,

"Hello. How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him,

"This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.

While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her.
"I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill.
And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis", she replied.

Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry . . . there will be Hell to pay!

NB: The longest word currently listed in the Oxford dictionary is the supposed lung-disease pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (45 letters).

Now you've learned a new word. :)

Let's learn something from an old story about The Donkey

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from God.

You have two choices... smile and close this page,
or pass this along to someone else to share the lesson.

‘WHEN YOU TRUST SOMEONE TRUST HIM COMPLETELY WITHOUT ANY DOUBT....... AT THE END YOU WOULD GET ONE OF THE TWO : EITHER A LESSON FOR YOUR LIFE OR A VERY GOOD PERSON’

today aint a joke but something great i read about COMMITMENT

Commitment is the language of the wise,

Complaint is the language of the fools.

Commitment is a responsibility and also includes accountability.

In life, one should be responsible as well as accountable.

Generally one takes responsibility without accountability; this weakens one’s being.

Our weaknesses result in disappointment.

Disappointment should be cremated and not garlanded.

People derive a sadistic pleasure from disappointment.

This is a primitive pleasure, like a grownup boy sucking his thumb.

To cremate disappointment, one should strengthen one’s strengths.

The greatest strength comes from the energy of commitment

and brings in excellence in all walks of life.

Few people traverse the road of success without a puncture

or two but it is commitment to excellence that takes them through.

Observe nature and see how other being are committed.

For example, look at an eagle.

From a range of 5 km, it focuses on its prey.

Can we focus on our goals like an eagle?

An eagle does not eat a dead prey.

Can we learn not to live on dead information?

If there is a storm, the eagle can glide on the strong breeze.
It tests its wings and enjoys the storm and the challenges associated with it.

Can we enjoy difficulties and convert them into challenges?

An eagle does not mix with other birds. It soars high on its own.

Can we be part of an average crowd and still soar high on our strengths?

An eagle tests before it trust. Before mating, a female eagle tests its partner.
It picks up a twig, flies high and as the male follows,
it flies around to escape and finally drops the twig.
Before the twig falls on the ground, the male catches the twig and gives it to the female.

It repeats this act.
If a male succeeds in catching the twig consistently,
then it allows mating to take place.

Similarly, like an eagle, can we test before we trust?

Observe the commitment of an eagle in bringing out excellence while choosing a partner first and parenting later.
Bring similar commitment to all walks of life; be it at family, at work, in society or in your spiritual life.

Difficulties are like divine surgery.

Do not resist difficulties.

Nature expects us to use our heart and head to discover new and wise skills to fly in life.

Commitment creates integrity. In this state, it is easier to bring forth the excellence in our lives.

...and I thought we were friends

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

At this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled 'How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!'

The Texan smiled and drawled, 'Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we were friends.'