my bestest joke..lol

Once upon a time there was a frog who lived in a lake all by himself. He had been given special powers by a local witch. One day he finally ventured out of the lake to get his first glimpse of the world outside. The first thing he saw was a bear chasing a rabbit and so he called out to them and asked them to stop. Then he said to them: "I am a magical frog and since you are the first two animals I have ever seen, I am going to grant you both three wishes. You will each take turns using them and you have to use them now." The bear (being greedy) went first. I would like for every bear in this forest to be female except for me." A magical sound and it was done. Then the rabbit. "I would like a helmet." This confused both the frog and the bear, but after a magical sound there was a helmet. It was the bear's turn again. "I would like for every bear in the neighboring forest to be female." A magical sound and it was done. The rabbit went again. "I would like a motorcycle." Both the frog and the bear wondered why the rabbit didn't just ask for a lot of money with which he could buy himself a motorcycle, but after a magical sound there was a motorcycle. The bear took his last wish. "I would like for all the bears in the world to be female except for me." A magical sound and it was done. The rabbit then put on his helmet, started up the motorcycle, and said "I wish the bear was gay" and took off like a bat out of hell

Pastors Donkey

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.




The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered
in another race and it won again.





The local paper read:


PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered
the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.

The next day the local paper headline read:


BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor
to get rid of the donkey.



The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.


The local paper, hearing of the news,



Posted the following headline:


NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.


He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey
so she sold it to a farmer for $10.


The next day the headlines read:


NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back
the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.



The next day the headlines read:



NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS

IS WILD AND FREE.


Alas ... The Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY???

Being concerned about public opinion can bring you
much grief and misery and even shorten your life.


So, be yourself and enjoy life !!!


Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer.